Red Barn Bar-B-Que

3/26/11 Colleyville, TX. So at the corner of Glade and Hwy 26 is this big red barn that sells BBQ. I must say that I wasn't expecting much, and my first visit there fulfilled those expectations. The brisket and sausage were ok, but not really memorable. However, I got the ribs this last time and they were solid. They looked strange and literally fell off the bone, but they were undeniably good. I should have taken a picture. I've grown accustomed to good ribs having a color stratigraphy to them, like brown areas surrounded by red surrounded by black. Red barn ribs are just brown, ugly bag brown. But hey, they taste good. 'Nuff said. If you go to Red Barn, don't pass up the ribs. Just eat them at night or in a dimly lit room! The banana pudding is supposed to be good, but I didn't try it. I get the feeling this was a mistake. Reminder to self: When you read this on your phone while waiting in line a Red Barn Bar-B-Que, DON'T FORGET THE NANNER PUDDING. I'm reasonably sure Red Barn is the best BBQ in Colleyville.

Cooper's Old Time Pit Bar-B-Que

3/12/11 Ft. Worth, TX Welcome to North Texas, Cooper's! Cooper's Old Time Pit Bar-B-Que is a landmark in Llano, but has decided to expand their market northward to Cowtown. I say good for them. They did a good job of recreating the Cooper's experience, complete with your food getting an initial dip in some sauce before it's wrapped n' served, bench seating and jalapinos floating in the community beans. Cooper's is good stuff and it's even better when compared to most other North Texas BBQ joints. I went straight for the brisket and sausage. The brisket is pretty good, not overpowering with rubs and so forth, but enough smoke taste to keep you from leaving any on the butcher paper in the end. Cooper's cooks their meats directly over the fire so that whole "slow and low" method of smoking meats doesn't apply here. It works surprisingly well for the amount of time it takes to say, cook the brisket (about 3 hours). The sausage was ok, next time I'll get the jalapino version to keep things interesting. Cooper's really has good sauce. It's really watery and has a tangy taste that hits the undersides of your tongue. In any case, it's different and a big plus. I didn't bother with any sides, but they looked good enough should you choose to leave room for them. I did try the pecan cobbler and it was a good way to wrap up the dinner.

Cooper's is right next to the Ft. Worth Stockyards, so the location is ideal if you want to buy a fancy saddle for your horse or ride a mechanical bull. As mentioned in previous posts, Hard 8 in Coppell is very similar but I'll give Cooper's the edge with the sauce as a tiebreaker. Both have solid 'que for scratching that itch. Let's Rodeo!

Smoke

3/5/11 Dallas, TX So there's bad news and there's good news. Which do you want first? Ok the GOOD news of course! Well the good news is that nobody got seriously sick or died during this past visit to the fancy-pants, quasi-bbq Dallas establishment called Smoke. The bad news is that the food now sucks, or at least the pork chop does. It would have been one thing if it was just a shitty pork chop, like something at Golden Corral, but they didn't even bother to cook this thing all the way through. When I discovered the raw center, I released the pork back into the wild to pursue a 2nd chance at making something of itself.

In all fairness, not everything on every menu at every establishment is great. I know that. YOU know that, but this pork chop has been recommended by waitstaff ALL THREE TIMES I've been there! If you have Filet Mignon on the menu, and a bag of shit, why the hell would you recommend the bag of shit to customers? The attempt was made to dress this thing up with some sort of fruity sauce with these brussels sprout balls or something, but none of it made up for the chop itself with it's jerky-like outside and a plastic center, sort of like a reverse Joan Rivers (jerky inside, plastic outside right?). Whatever, that wasn't as bad as this food so Smoke gets an F. As in F that place.

I still love your ribs though, Smoke but we are definitely on a "break".

Smoke

8/15/10 Dallas, TX. So the neighborhood of Oak Cliff is now trendy and what better way to say "I'm hip" than spend $50 on BBQ for two people? Price point aside, this place is fantastic. I ordered the ribs plate that came with mac & cheese and pickled green beans. The ribs were unbelievable, big, tender, seasoned but not overpowering. And man, bring an appetite because the ribs are piled high! The mac & cheese was very good and my daughter ate most of mine. 2 years olds are natural mac & cheese experts. The macaroni was as big as a garden hose. White cheese with some sprinkled bread crumbs on top, this side reminded me of the same side at Uncle Billy's in Austin, but on steroids. The pickled green beans were kind of a gimmick, but were interesting enough to finish.

The pros: Fantastic ribs, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic ribs. I will be back for a brisket and sausage assessment soon. The mac & cheese is pretty much king of its kind. Smoke also gives you four bottles of BBQ sauce. Two of them aren't worth mentioning, but the other two included a mustard sauce that was awesome and a chili pepper sauce that had a delicious kick to it. The cons: Expensive, you're paying for ambiance and presentation, but hey you're cool now right? Also, you order meals with sides that they choose. Next time I'll see if I can pick the meats and sides like a regular BBQ restaraunt.

Smoke is great and if you are in the DFW area, I'd definitly plan on paying them a visit. Looks like Dallas can produce some fantastic 'que, just don't be sticker shocked!

City Market

7/29/10 Luling, TX. The legendary City Market has good ribs, but the brisket is unfortunately underwhelming. If the place were further away from Lockhart it would be better, but it's going to be second string situated where it is. Don't get me wrong, it's good stuff, but stick with the ribs and just enjoy the traditional atmosphere with a Big Red. Consistancy might be a factor here. I've been to City Market several times and it's been fantastic in the past in almost all respects (though I do recall the sausage was so-so).

The bottom line: B+ overall, but with Smitty's up the road it's no contest. Put it up in Dallas, and they'd be rich, rich as Nazis. Yes, I've seen way too many Simpsons reruns. Until next time, Smoke up!

Smitty's Market Inc.

7/22/10 Lockhart, TX. The best food in the world is at Smitty's Market in Lockhart. It doesn't get any better. I got no sides, I forgot to request sauce. Let's roll. Be sure to get brisket, ribs, and sausage at Smitty's because it's all incredible. Eat it that exact order too. Start with the brisket. There are subtle smoke flavors that will reveal themselves on a fresh pallette. Don't be greedy and fill up on brisket though, we've got a ways to go. Next have a swig of Big Red and get ready for the next round with the ribs. Fall off the bone tender, the pork ribs here will rival that of the best BBQ that the deep south can produce (that's a fact, Jack). Rich and flavorful, but not too salty or crusty. They're perfect. Have another splash of Big Red and and gear up for the sausage finale. Welcome to flavor country! The sausage bursts with smoke and spice to round out the experience.

I have no idea if Smitty's has sweet tea or banana pudding. The rules change when the 'que is this good. It truly is the Holy Grail of BBQ and I wouldn't hesitate to make a pilgrimmage to Smitty's every now and then for an out of body experience. The rumors are true, no they don't give you silverware, and yes if you aren't paying attention you might step into the fire. Who knows, maybe it's cocaine in the BBQ? Whatever it is, should something better come along, my head might explode. A++

Schoepf's Old Time Pit Bar-B-Que

7/16/10 Belton, TX. I was at a poker tournament last year and got seated accross from this guy from Temple. We talked BBQ briefly (of course) and he told me this place is pronounced "chef's". Now that the mystery is solved, lets move on to how bad this bbq really is.

The sweet tea is solid, the cheesy potatos are awesome, the beans are good, but wow the brisket is crappy! Tougher than leather! I could make rattlesnake-proof boots out of this stuff! I don't really understand why places like this SEEM like they would have good brisket, but just don't (like Green Mesquite in ATX). Bypass the brisket and just get the ribs if you're going to stop here. The last time I was here I remembered the sausage being that spam/Rudy's type so I didn't even bother. The ribs are on the bland side, but they do the trick. The ambiance is true to the 'que so you'll at least think you're in the right place. B- and that's pretending I didn't try the brisket.