Texas Best Smokehouse

5/21/10 Alvarado, TX. I've been wanting to sample the food here for some time now. It's right off I-35 and they typically have the cleanest restrooms, but the most expensive gasoline in the I-35 corridor between Ft. Worth and Austin. The restaurant lies inside the Shell gas station and even shares the eating area with a Sonic that's also part of the Shell building.

So there's all that. This place is not good at all. The brisket was barely ok, but nothing remarkable. I will say that I only paid 6.99, so you get what you pay for. The banana pudding tasted like bubble gum, yes bubble gum. The cole slaw was average. The sweet tea was the worst I've ever had. They really need to address that immediately because an old dog could make better sweet tea. The onion and pickle tray was filthy and appeard that it hadn't been cleaned all day.

This place would get an F if their special brisket sandwich combo wasn't so cheap. Again, if you pay $7 for a full dinner with dessert and drink, expect to get shitty food. Congratulations on the 2nd D- I've dished out in a row. I'll come back here, but I'm not going near the food...

Chief's BBQ

5/17/10 South Austin, TX. I tried the brisket, it was okay. The beans however were really good. There seems to be a couple different tastes going on in there, and they are definitely sweet. They apparantly have another location inside Westgate Lanes. I've actually been there before and they were out of everything except sausage.

I can't really say much about Chief's. It wasn't terrible, but I've got no reason to go back. D-

Louie Mueller Barbecue

5/13/10 Taylor, TX. Extremely good BBQ and well worth a visit if you happen to pass through Taylor. 2 true shining stars; the sausage and the friendly atmosphere. The sausage is loosely packed, not too greasy, full of flavor and you get 3 choices; regular, jalapino, and chipotle smoked sausage. I sampled the jalapino sausage and man, it's got a kick! It's way, way better than any jalapino sausage I've had at any BBQ joint so far. Also tried the chipotle sausage a long time ago and I remember it being very good as well. The brisket is very good. It's not going to compete with Texas' best (Smitty's, Cele's, etc.), but it's close.

Bobby Mueller is a super friendly guy and he's going to be the one slicing up your brisket for you. Have a chat with him and you might even get some tips on quicker ways to manuver through Austin traffic. Everybody seems to be in a good mood at this place, even the customers. This is one of those intangeables that makes Louie Mueller Barbeque a guaranteed return visit (of course the 'best jalapino sausage' title doesn't hurt either)! The only "damnit" moment came when I discovered that there was NO sweet tea. I'm starting to seriously consider bringing my own sweet tea to these places, just in case.

One final note, the sauce is extremely unique. It's very, very thin liquid. It's got an orange hue to it and has chunks of onions here and there. The uniqueness comes from the fact that it is the mildest sauce I've ever tasted. It's sort of oily, but thinner. It in no way overpowers any tastes from the 'que. The closest sauce I can compare it to is Cele's. It's almost as if at some point, a conversation like this occured. "What kind of sauce should we offer?" "Don't need sauce." "Ok, how about a sauce that barely tastes like anything, but customers who insist on sauce can still taste everything the BBQ has to offer." "Sounds good. Let's make this BBQ Sauce-Lite." "Oh, and let's put the sauce in old, glass Listerine bottles on the tables." See pic... This place is as solid a grade A as anywhere.

J. Kelly's Barbeque

4/28/10 Austin, TX. J. Kelly's used to be Ben's Longbranch BBQ. It's in the same building, but I can't verify whether it's the same grub or not. It's good stuff though. The ribs are totally covered in some strong pepper rub. Maybe too much, but still good. Not the most tender, but you get the idea. Brisket was pretty good too, perhaps a little dry but overall it's good stuff. The sausage was great! Get whatever suits you at J. Kelly's, but don't pass up the sausage. It's only $1 more to get a 3 meat plate compared to a 2 meat plate. Let's face it, you're gonna die someday so you may as well load up on BBQ right now! The sweet tea might be the best I've had at a BBQ establishment, sweet, sweet, sweet. The baked beans were also top of the charts. Not sure what they did to 'em, but they didn't have any of that earthy taste that most BBQ joints like so much. The tato salad was good too. They know how to add sugar to things to make them taste better. Maybe they've been reading a page out of Hard 8's rulebook (great BBQ in Coppell, TX). Overall I'd say this place is a B+, fighting for an A. The deal-maker/breaker is as follows:

Guest reviewer Steve McMinn, Blog-Bee-Que photographer and nanner pudding expert: I do consider myself a connoisseur of the best fruit based pudding known to man. If I’m at a BBQ joint, there will be a serving of banana pudding in front of me. I believe that banana pudding helps seal the deal for a great BBQ experience.

If you go to J. Kelly’s BBQ get the banana pudding. Quite frankly, this is the best banana pudding you can eat at any BBQ joint in Austin. This pudding has all the elements one would look for. The ‘Nilla Wafers are crispy, there is an unexpected extra sweetness to the recipe and the texture of the pudding is as smooth as the jazz music playing in the background.

Uncle Dan's Bar B Que and Catering

4/23/ Waco, TX. "I wish I had more hands so I could give that brisket four thumbs down". Tough and dry, not something to write home about. The sausage was the Spam kind that resembles a big hot dog. Uncle Dan's is the kind of place that has everything you'd want to take the family out to dinner, except for good BBQ. The sides were very good, and they had a fantastic variety, but they just don't seem to care about the meats. I mean you can get yellow OR white potato salad, three different kinds of baked beans (I chose the chili beans, pretty good), and you can even choose what kind of bread you get with your plate. I got rolls just because it was something different.

The three positive things at Uncle Dan's are friendly staff, good sweet tea, and a couple flatscreen TV's to watch all the NFL draft hype. Perhaps if I am ever to go back to Dan's, I'll pick up a Gut Pak from Vitek's or even something from Rudy's and just bring it over so I can watch their awesome TV. Until next time!

Rudy's Country Store & BBQ

4/19/10 Austin, TX. Rudy's, the gold standard for Austin BBQ. Always very good brisket that doesn't disappoint. I've reviewed Rudy's before. You know it's good. You know the sweet tea's good, the banana pudding's good, the beans are thick, but good, but what you don't know is how one individual described the sausage (truly Rudy's one real failure).

The scenario: Six of us are at a table, some of us buy sausage out of habit (like myself). We start to chow down and someone says "I don't know why I got sausage, tastes like SPAM"! Hahahaha! So true! Bottom line, Rudy's is great but the fkn sausage tastes like SPAM.

Cele Store

4/9/10 Cele, TX. The best BBQ on this blog to date belongs to Cele's (say "seals"). Near Pflugerville, near the middle of nowhere this unique establishment has earned the official Seal of Awesomeness for all around best BBQ. What a way to spend this blog's 25th post with such great news! I'll stop fkn around. The ribs were fantastic. I got a couple of the heels in the bag and they were meaty, tender, and not completely salt infused. A+. The brisket initially looked dry to me, but was just lean. Once I tasted it, wow, had to pull the vehicle over to take it all in. Cele's doesn't use a rub, all the flavor is in the meat and the smoke. After taking a bite, you can taste the smoke lingering for awhile and it kinda numbs you up a bit. Best lean brisked ever! Next time I'll try and ask for extra moist and see what happens. Regardless, A+. The sausage man, whoa, they shoot, they score. Not spicy at all, not too greasy, PERFECT consistency in that it's not packed loose enough to fall apart but not too tight where it's like a brick of Velveeta. Very tasty, maybe similar to House Park in Austin, but without the tough casings. A+. That covers all the meat, bottom line is that you can't go wrong whatever you order. You can always do what I did when ordering. Just say "I'd like BBQ for 2 people", and they'll hook you up. Oh yes, did I mention you have to order by noon the day before you go there? Yeah, a little quirky but so what. They're also only selling BBQ on Friday nights, so plan accordingly.

I'll leave the ambiance more or less a mystery for now, just go there. It's great. I'll give you 2 trailers. #1 all Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies had scenes shot at Cele's and #2 look for the can of Creamed Possum while your there. Cheers!

One more thing, the BBQ sauce. It was that strange, fruity, orange kind that is similar to Mueller's in Taylor, but better. Not as vinegary, but just as mild. I think it's brilliant with this kind of bbq to offer a sauce that is mild mild mild. You probably won't want it with every bite, but it adds a nice subtle sweetness to the meat every so often. Go directly to Cele's, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Showing my age, I know. Does anyone even know what Monopoly is anymore, much less play it?? Double Cheers!