North Main BBQ

8/7/11 Euless, TX BEST BBQ IN D/FW. $17 for a three meat plate (to go) and worth every penny. I believe it's $15 for an all you can eat deal. Brisket is tender and smokey, ribs are fantastic so just eat 'em, and the sausage is pretty good as well. Don't take that as a bad thing, the sausage would be stellar at most places, but it can't comptete with sausage from central Texas. Regardless, the ribs and brisket would hold their own against the top 1%. It's that good. It should be on the register for historic places or something.

It's good to see the staff getting nice and surley too, like alot of good BBQ places, customer service just seems to go out the window. I say who cares. I'm not there for smiles and tea refills, I'm there for smoked meats, period.<-Period.

Sonny Bryan's Smokehouse

8/5/11 Las Colinas, TX There's a "Pig Out Platter" that's very tender and tasty. It's on special every Friday for $10 which is pretty good timing since you've been eating vegetables and Cheerios all week (yeah right).

On this last visit, I hit the 2 meat plate with brisket and ribs. The ribs were ok, but not worth getting again really. The brisket was good and tender, not much complexity to the taste, just good and tender. Recommend going with the Pig Out Platter. I don't really remember the sides too much, but I'm sure they were fine. This place is pretty good for a chain.

Hard 8

7/22/11 Coppel, TX. Just don't get side items. They're good, but you won't have room for them. Yes, that's chicken in the pic. Figured it's time to start branching out. This world wasn't made on brisket and ribs alone was it? Anyway when you're at Hard 8 just resist the temptation to get ANY sides and here's why. First off, you will get a bunch of meat. That's just how it is when they stick everything under the sun in that big metal pit for you before you even get inside. Next, the beans are free. Well, you've already paid for them, and they're in a big pot in the back with fully jalapinos and bacon strips floating around like Cracker Jack prizes. The last and most important reason for no sides is this. The banana pudding is second to none, and must be consumed regardless of belly condition at the end of the meal.

The chicken was good. I missed the more standard BBQ fare, but hey, another day. Nicely seasoned and good smoke flavor. The white meat was a little drier than I... ahem.... usually cook in my Weber bullet, but the dark meat was just as good. You have to get the 1/2 chicken as they wouldn't sell me a 1/4 like I asked. "Well, they sell me 1/4 at Boston Market" was not a response to that denial that produced results. In any case, this place packes 'em in at lunch and there's a reason for it. Good BBQ, good atmosphere, and fantastic banana pudding.

Bartley's

7/15/11 Grapevine, TX. The best BBQ business in Grapevine is Bartley's. Though North Main BBQ and Hard 8 are not too far away, Bartley's rules the land within the well defended borders of Da 'Vine. I always order too much at Bartley's. A two meat plate is a heck of alot of food, mostly because the sides are self-serve. Have you ever seen a grown man make a tower of potato salad? I'm a &$#^% architecht. This place has been around forever, which should tell you something. And that something is this:

Must haves: Ribs. "Fall off the bone" is overrated and the ribs at Bartley's have just the right consistancy to get you where you want to be. They are the smaller, St. Louis style with just the right amount of bark and smoke flavor. Sweet tea. It's good and since it's Texas, having sweet tea always scores bonus points. The sides are pretty good as well, with two different types of beans. They have a traditional style and a sweet style. They also have good potato salad AND macaroni salad. It's really a good selection, one you would expect at a medeocre chain restaurant. Chains always seem to have hundreds of sides, perhaps to make up for dry-ass rubber brisket, which leads me to....

Must Run Away Froms: Brisket. 2 parts dry & 1 part bland. Just don't bother.

There are also 2 types of sausage (one is good, the other is not but I forget which is which), pork chops, turkey, and I want to say bologna. Will have to verify that last one next time. Don't knock it 'till you try it. Until next time, smoke it if you got it.

Lockhart Smokehouse

6/19/11 Oak Cliff, TX Are you kidding me? Kreutz has a BBQ place in Oak Cliff, they just opened it and it's going to be the same delicious BBQ you get in the real Lockhart! I'm totally convinced that Dallas has a BBQ saviour and it has opened in Oak Cliff! Well guess what, Lockhart Smokehouse is no Smitty's, it's no Blacks, and it's only loosely connected to Kreutz. Married daughter's son's brother's dentist or something. The customer service was excellent and they know how to treat people from the door to the counter, but you can't put "Lockhart" in the name of the business and sell brisket like that.

The irony is that this place has good BBQ. The ribs are fairly good, the sausage is solid (sent from the orig Kreutz in Lockhart), and the jalapeno beans were fantastic. However, the brisket is bland and dry. I brought my own sauce, and it damn needed it. This brisket would be good at Colter's or something at a sporting event, but you can't put the name Lockhart in the name and sell that to people. It just isn't right. So if you go here, dial your expectations down and realize that their marketing is total bullshit. It's good BBQ, mostly, but traditional it 'aint. Welcome to Dallas where as long as we all agree it's a traditional BBQ joint, then it is. Now enjoy a margarita and lucky you, it's 25 cent wings night and you don't need a fork for that!... Think I'm joking? Go to their website...

San Diego Zoo Safari Park

4/25/11 Escondido, CA Have I gone completely nuts?? Am I really going to review BBQ served at one of the most exotic animal parks in the world? Seriously?? Hell yes I am, and imagine how the review would be if they would have let me cook up half the animals I saw! I'd start with Badger brisket, then maybe some Ocelot sausage finished off with polar bear pudding.

In all seriousness, they served BBQ and I ate it, and then I write about it so here we go.

Here's the deal on the BBQ sandwich. The meat was tough, but it was edible. I can't verify that it was some exotic animal, but then again I can't verify that it wasn't either. The sandwich came with a bag of cheese puffs (their choice) and a pickle. For 9 bucks in southern California, I'd buy it again. C-, and a large part of that is for the following reason:

There are secret animals that they will bring out if you specifically request it. You heard correctly. THERE'S A SECRET STASH OF CRITTERS that the public doesn't see. It's like the secret menu at In N' Out Burger. You can't just read it on the menu, you have to ask. My son was interested in one particular weasel-like varmint called the Honey Badger. After a couple of voice messages and a ranger station visit, the nice folks at the Safari Park agreed to take "Benzi" out for a walk so my son could check her out. Cheers to them for honoring request. It was like going to a Monsters of Rock show or the Warped Tour and knowing that if you do the secret knock on the super-secret porta potty, you are whisked down a narrow shaft in a silent elevator to see the most awesome Danzig show (or insert your favorite cheese metal band here). So greetings from Southern California! See the animals, party at the beach, take the kids to the roller coaster, but for barbecue go to Lockhart. Party down.

Eddie Deen's Crossroads Smokehouse

4/1/11 Arlington, TX So the best BBQ in the world is a toss up between Bill Miller's and the brisket sandwich at Boston Market... April Fools!! Seriously, Eddie Deen's gets A's in several areas like the RIBS. Very good balance of everything, taste, texture, color, you name it. They are tender, but not too much to let go of the bone while you're munching down. They are the smaller style, St. Louis style I think it's called. Anyway the brisket kinda sucks. Not a Bill Miller kind of sucks, but compared to the ribs at Eddie Deen's, the brisket is tough and uninteresting. No problem really, the BBQ sauce is good enough to give it some taste and soften it up a little.

Sides here are top of the line. The beans have big chunks of sausage floating around (sorry Coopers and Hard 8, it's better than the jalapino boats sailing the seas of beans). The pickle slices are the big, THICK kind that have the ridges. Much preferred over the thin, smooth pickels that have neither heart nor soul. Another supercool thing they do at Eddie Deen's is give you a bun to make a sanwich if you like. The bun tastes fresh, so they either make them on site or get them from some bakery. These were not born into a Mrs. Bairds plastic bag.

In all I'll give them an B++, ok because it's literally right accross the street from Cowboys Stadium I'll give them an A-- (that's A-minus-minus which is a fraction lower than A-minus). Congratulations to Eddie Deen's for likely achieving an "A" grade with crap brisket. What a crazy world we live in!

Red Barn Bar-B-Que

3/26/11 Colleyville, TX. So at the corner of Glade and Hwy 26 is this big red barn that sells BBQ. I must say that I wasn't expecting much, and my first visit there fulfilled those expectations. The brisket and sausage were ok, but not really memorable. However, I got the ribs this last time and they were solid. They looked strange and literally fell off the bone, but they were undeniably good. I should have taken a picture. I've grown accustomed to good ribs having a color stratigraphy to them, like brown areas surrounded by red surrounded by black. Red barn ribs are just brown, ugly bag brown. But hey, they taste good. 'Nuff said. If you go to Red Barn, don't pass up the ribs. Just eat them at night or in a dimly lit room! The banana pudding is supposed to be good, but I didn't try it. I get the feeling this was a mistake. Reminder to self: When you read this on your phone while waiting in line a Red Barn Bar-B-Que, DON'T FORGET THE NANNER PUDDING. I'm reasonably sure Red Barn is the best BBQ in Colleyville.

Cooper's Old Time Pit Bar-B-Que

3/12/11 Ft. Worth, TX Welcome to North Texas, Cooper's! Cooper's Old Time Pit Bar-B-Que is a landmark in Llano, but has decided to expand their market northward to Cowtown. I say good for them. They did a good job of recreating the Cooper's experience, complete with your food getting an initial dip in some sauce before it's wrapped n' served, bench seating and jalapinos floating in the community beans. Cooper's is good stuff and it's even better when compared to most other North Texas BBQ joints. I went straight for the brisket and sausage. The brisket is pretty good, not overpowering with rubs and so forth, but enough smoke taste to keep you from leaving any on the butcher paper in the end. Cooper's cooks their meats directly over the fire so that whole "slow and low" method of smoking meats doesn't apply here. It works surprisingly well for the amount of time it takes to say, cook the brisket (about 3 hours). The sausage was ok, next time I'll get the jalapino version to keep things interesting. Cooper's really has good sauce. It's really watery and has a tangy taste that hits the undersides of your tongue. In any case, it's different and a big plus. I didn't bother with any sides, but they looked good enough should you choose to leave room for them. I did try the pecan cobbler and it was a good way to wrap up the dinner.

Cooper's is right next to the Ft. Worth Stockyards, so the location is ideal if you want to buy a fancy saddle for your horse or ride a mechanical bull. As mentioned in previous posts, Hard 8 in Coppell is very similar but I'll give Cooper's the edge with the sauce as a tiebreaker. Both have solid 'que for scratching that itch. Let's Rodeo!

Smoke

3/5/11 Dallas, TX So there's bad news and there's good news. Which do you want first? Ok the GOOD news of course! Well the good news is that nobody got seriously sick or died during this past visit to the fancy-pants, quasi-bbq Dallas establishment called Smoke. The bad news is that the food now sucks, or at least the pork chop does. It would have been one thing if it was just a shitty pork chop, like something at Golden Corral, but they didn't even bother to cook this thing all the way through. When I discovered the raw center, I released the pork back into the wild to pursue a 2nd chance at making something of itself.

In all fairness, not everything on every menu at every establishment is great. I know that. YOU know that, but this pork chop has been recommended by waitstaff ALL THREE TIMES I've been there! If you have Filet Mignon on the menu, and a bag of shit, why the hell would you recommend the bag of shit to customers? The attempt was made to dress this thing up with some sort of fruity sauce with these brussels sprout balls or something, but none of it made up for the chop itself with it's jerky-like outside and a plastic center, sort of like a reverse Joan Rivers (jerky inside, plastic outside right?). Whatever, that wasn't as bad as this food so Smoke gets an F. As in F that place.

I still love your ribs though, Smoke but we are definitely on a "break".