Smoke

8/15/10 Dallas, TX. So the neighborhood of Oak Cliff is now trendy and what better way to say "I'm hip" than spend $50 on BBQ for two people? Price point aside, this place is fantastic. I ordered the ribs plate that came with mac & cheese and pickled green beans. The ribs were unbelievable, big, tender, seasoned but not overpowering. And man, bring an appetite because the ribs are piled high! The mac & cheese was very good and my daughter ate most of mine. 2 years olds are natural mac & cheese experts. The macaroni was as big as a garden hose. White cheese with some sprinkled bread crumbs on top, this side reminded me of the same side at Uncle Billy's in Austin, but on steroids. The pickled green beans were kind of a gimmick, but were interesting enough to finish.

The pros: Fantastic ribs, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic ribs. I will be back for a brisket and sausage assessment soon. The mac & cheese is pretty much king of its kind. Smoke also gives you four bottles of BBQ sauce. Two of them aren't worth mentioning, but the other two included a mustard sauce that was awesome and a chili pepper sauce that had a delicious kick to it. The cons: Expensive, you're paying for ambiance and presentation, but hey you're cool now right? Also, you order meals with sides that they choose. Next time I'll see if I can pick the meats and sides like a regular BBQ restaraunt.

Smoke is great and if you are in the DFW area, I'd definitly plan on paying them a visit. Looks like Dallas can produce some fantastic 'que, just don't be sticker shocked!

City Market

7/29/10 Luling, TX. The legendary City Market has good ribs, but the brisket is unfortunately underwhelming. If the place were further away from Lockhart it would be better, but it's going to be second string situated where it is. Don't get me wrong, it's good stuff, but stick with the ribs and just enjoy the traditional atmosphere with a Big Red. Consistancy might be a factor here. I've been to City Market several times and it's been fantastic in the past in almost all respects (though I do recall the sausage was so-so).

The bottom line: B+ overall, but with Smitty's up the road it's no contest. Put it up in Dallas, and they'd be rich, rich as Nazis. Yes, I've seen way too many Simpsons reruns. Until next time, Smoke up!

Smitty's Market Inc.

7/22/10 Lockhart, TX. The best food in the world is at Smitty's Market in Lockhart. It doesn't get any better. I got no sides, I forgot to request sauce. Let's roll. Be sure to get brisket, ribs, and sausage at Smitty's because it's all incredible. Eat it that exact order too. Start with the brisket. There are subtle smoke flavors that will reveal themselves on a fresh pallette. Don't be greedy and fill up on brisket though, we've got a ways to go. Next have a swig of Big Red and get ready for the next round with the ribs. Fall off the bone tender, the pork ribs here will rival that of the best BBQ that the deep south can produce (that's a fact, Jack). Rich and flavorful, but not too salty or crusty. They're perfect. Have another splash of Big Red and and gear up for the sausage finale. Welcome to flavor country! The sausage bursts with smoke and spice to round out the experience.

I have no idea if Smitty's has sweet tea or banana pudding. The rules change when the 'que is this good. It truly is the Holy Grail of BBQ and I wouldn't hesitate to make a pilgrimmage to Smitty's every now and then for an out of body experience. The rumors are true, no they don't give you silverware, and yes if you aren't paying attention you might step into the fire. Who knows, maybe it's cocaine in the BBQ? Whatever it is, should something better come along, my head might explode. A++

Schoepf's Old Time Pit Bar-B-Que

7/16/10 Belton, TX. I was at a poker tournament last year and got seated accross from this guy from Temple. We talked BBQ briefly (of course) and he told me this place is pronounced "chef's". Now that the mystery is solved, lets move on to how bad this bbq really is.

The sweet tea is solid, the cheesy potatos are awesome, the beans are good, but wow the brisket is crappy! Tougher than leather! I could make rattlesnake-proof boots out of this stuff! I don't really understand why places like this SEEM like they would have good brisket, but just don't (like Green Mesquite in ATX). Bypass the brisket and just get the ribs if you're going to stop here. The last time I was here I remembered the sausage being that spam/Rudy's type so I didn't even bother. The ribs are on the bland side, but they do the trick. The ambiance is true to the 'que so you'll at least think you're in the right place. B- and that's pretending I didn't try the brisket.

Back Country Bar-B-Q

6/24/10 Dallas, TX. So North Texas gets another shot to prove their mediocrity and Back Country Bar-B-Q came through with blazing blanditude. It did have some solid aspects which makes it one of the better places to go, but since the brisket was boring, and the sausage even more boring, it doesn't get to sit at the adult table quite yet. The brisket, yes bland, was at least very tender and reminds me of that fall-off-the-fork tenderness that Uncle Billy's has. There's nothing worse than brisket that tastes like a cracker AND is tough and jerky to boot (I'm looking at YOU Green Mesquite). The sausage isn't even worth ment... Anyway they give you a big slice of texas toast which is cool, but really the best part was their unique potato salad. It was smooth and the potato chunks were tiny. One step further and you would have potato pudding. Have a look at the pic and maybe you'll see what I'm talking about.

They also had a live band that played Abracadabra by Steve Miller over and over. And I always thought once was enough! Who knew you were supposed to play that song several times in a row! In any case, I give them points for having a band at all, even though it reminded me of a Viagra commercial. Kudos, Back Country Bar-B-Q! You get your real world C+, but with your Dallas curve you're up to a very solid B!

Clem Mikeska Bar-B-Q

6/18/10 Temple, TX. I've been here a number of times. It's good in a Pok-e-Jo's kinda way. Nothing spectacular, but solid at least. The ambiance is interesting enough with dead everything hanging on the walls. They even have a few stuffed hammerhead sharks here and there. I've had the chopped beef sandwich in the past and it's really not worth getting, so I tried something different this time.

The BBQ is ok. I got the sausage plate because the billboard on I-35 clearly states "Homemade Sausage". It's average I suppose. Needs to be dipped in the warm bbq sauce to get a real taste out of it. Funny how this establishment has the warmed up bbq sauce and so did Oxbow down the street. Maybe it's a regional thing in Temple? In any case, I got corn on the cob and a salad as the sides. Both very good considering they were corn and lettuce! Next go 'round I'll hit the beans and tato salad. The sweet tea does the trick, so they get some points for that. Unfortunately, this place is really overpriced. A 1-meat place and small sweet tea was $10.71 and you clearly don't get what you pay for compared to other establishments.

All in all, they have a lot to choose from so you get your varity. However with most places that have such a variety (Hard 8 in Coppell EXCLUDED) the quality suffers a bit. Clem Mikeska's would be a good place to bring the family because it has a little something for everyone and a bunch of stuffed bears to look at. It's also good enough to stop by every now and then for a commuter on I-35. I'll give this place an overpriced B.

Oxbow Steakhouse & Bar-B-Q

6/10/10 Belton, TX. Dark and old. They have steaks as well as BBQ, but the steaks are apparently the priority. Look first they put "Steakhouse" before "Bar-B-Q" in the name, then the special is a porterhouse steak for $25, then to top it all off, they serve you tough, beef jerky like brisket. It's flavorful enough, but very tough. It definitely needed sauce which was good, dark (just like the building) and served warm, which was kinda cool. There was no offer for bread or rolls (wtf?), but they did offer sweet tea. The coleslaw was extremely creamy, like at a retirement home. The beans were fine, whatever. This place puts off a peculiar vibe and I don't think I'll be going back. However if I did, I would pass on the 'que and order a steak. Who knows? If the steak is awesome, then their existence is justified. Just ignore the ghosts. Shit am I going to actually go back there now?? Nah, probably not. I can get a good steak in my back yard!

Vitek's BBQ

6/4/10 Waco, TX. High expectations met with disappointment. Vitek's is know for their signature "Gut Pak" complete with everything but the kitchen sink, and yes, it is truly awesome. This time I opted to sample a more traditional BBQ experience with only some brisket and some homemade sausage. The sausage was better than average, but I'd say the brisket was a registered voter in Average-ville, USA. In other words, the brisked was about as good as that last joke (and even that's a stretch). Anyway, I've said it before and here we go again: If a BBQ place has a specialty food (i.e. the Gut Pak) then that's what you should get. The sausage and brisket need to be mixed together with spicy beans, pickles, jalapinos, , onions, cheese, Frito's, old computer hard drives, and whatever else is in the Gut Pak to really do the trick.

Pro's: The Gut Pack is awesome, friendly staff, and they do have sweet tea in a gallon jug on the counter.

Con's: C+ brisket and sausage when they stand alone, plus the hours are crappy. Banana pudding is a dismal failure.

Texas Best Smokehouse

5/21/10 Alvarado, TX. I've been wanting to sample the food here for some time now. It's right off I-35 and they typically have the cleanest restrooms, but the most expensive gasoline in the I-35 corridor between Ft. Worth and Austin. The restaurant lies inside the Shell gas station and even shares the eating area with a Sonic that's also part of the Shell building.

So there's all that. This place is not good at all. The brisket was barely ok, but nothing remarkable. I will say that I only paid 6.99, so you get what you pay for. The banana pudding tasted like bubble gum, yes bubble gum. The cole slaw was average. The sweet tea was the worst I've ever had. They really need to address that immediately because an old dog could make better sweet tea. The onion and pickle tray was filthy and appeard that it hadn't been cleaned all day.

This place would get an F if their special brisket sandwich combo wasn't so cheap. Again, if you pay $7 for a full dinner with dessert and drink, expect to get shitty food. Congratulations on the 2nd D- I've dished out in a row. I'll come back here, but I'm not going near the food...

Chief's BBQ

5/17/10 South Austin, TX. I tried the brisket, it was okay. The beans however were really good. There seems to be a couple different tastes going on in there, and they are definitely sweet. They apparantly have another location inside Westgate Lanes. I've actually been there before and they were out of everything except sausage.

I can't really say much about Chief's. It wasn't terrible, but I've got no reason to go back. D-

Louie Mueller Barbecue

5/13/10 Taylor, TX. Extremely good BBQ and well worth a visit if you happen to pass through Taylor. 2 true shining stars; the sausage and the friendly atmosphere. The sausage is loosely packed, not too greasy, full of flavor and you get 3 choices; regular, jalapino, and chipotle smoked sausage. I sampled the jalapino sausage and man, it's got a kick! It's way, way better than any jalapino sausage I've had at any BBQ joint so far. Also tried the chipotle sausage a long time ago and I remember it being very good as well. The brisket is very good. It's not going to compete with Texas' best (Smitty's, Cele's, etc.), but it's close.

Bobby Mueller is a super friendly guy and he's going to be the one slicing up your brisket for you. Have a chat with him and you might even get some tips on quicker ways to manuver through Austin traffic. Everybody seems to be in a good mood at this place, even the customers. This is one of those intangeables that makes Louie Mueller Barbeque a guaranteed return visit (of course the 'best jalapino sausage' title doesn't hurt either)! The only "damnit" moment came when I discovered that there was NO sweet tea. I'm starting to seriously consider bringing my own sweet tea to these places, just in case.

One final note, the sauce is extremely unique. It's very, very thin liquid. It's got an orange hue to it and has chunks of onions here and there. The uniqueness comes from the fact that it is the mildest sauce I've ever tasted. It's sort of oily, but thinner. It in no way overpowers any tastes from the 'que. The closest sauce I can compare it to is Cele's. It's almost as if at some point, a conversation like this occured. "What kind of sauce should we offer?" "Don't need sauce." "Ok, how about a sauce that barely tastes like anything, but customers who insist on sauce can still taste everything the BBQ has to offer." "Sounds good. Let's make this BBQ Sauce-Lite." "Oh, and let's put the sauce in old, glass Listerine bottles on the tables." See pic... This place is as solid a grade A as anywhere.

J. Kelly's Barbeque

4/28/10 Austin, TX. J. Kelly's used to be Ben's Longbranch BBQ. It's in the same building, but I can't verify whether it's the same grub or not. It's good stuff though. The ribs are totally covered in some strong pepper rub. Maybe too much, but still good. Not the most tender, but you get the idea. Brisket was pretty good too, perhaps a little dry but overall it's good stuff. The sausage was great! Get whatever suits you at J. Kelly's, but don't pass up the sausage. It's only $1 more to get a 3 meat plate compared to a 2 meat plate. Let's face it, you're gonna die someday so you may as well load up on BBQ right now! The sweet tea might be the best I've had at a BBQ establishment, sweet, sweet, sweet. The baked beans were also top of the charts. Not sure what they did to 'em, but they didn't have any of that earthy taste that most BBQ joints like so much. The tato salad was good too. They know how to add sugar to things to make them taste better. Maybe they've been reading a page out of Hard 8's rulebook (great BBQ in Coppell, TX). Overall I'd say this place is a B+, fighting for an A. The deal-maker/breaker is as follows:

Guest reviewer Steve McMinn, Blog-Bee-Que photographer and nanner pudding expert: I do consider myself a connoisseur of the best fruit based pudding known to man. If I’m at a BBQ joint, there will be a serving of banana pudding in front of me. I believe that banana pudding helps seal the deal for a great BBQ experience.

If you go to J. Kelly’s BBQ get the banana pudding. Quite frankly, this is the best banana pudding you can eat at any BBQ joint in Austin. This pudding has all the elements one would look for. The ‘Nilla Wafers are crispy, there is an unexpected extra sweetness to the recipe and the texture of the pudding is as smooth as the jazz music playing in the background.

Uncle Dan's Bar B Que and Catering

4/23/ Waco, TX. "I wish I had more hands so I could give that brisket four thumbs down". Tough and dry, not something to write home about. The sausage was the Spam kind that resembles a big hot dog. Uncle Dan's is the kind of place that has everything you'd want to take the family out to dinner, except for good BBQ. The sides were very good, and they had a fantastic variety, but they just don't seem to care about the meats. I mean you can get yellow OR white potato salad, three different kinds of baked beans (I chose the chili beans, pretty good), and you can even choose what kind of bread you get with your plate. I got rolls just because it was something different.

The three positive things at Uncle Dan's are friendly staff, good sweet tea, and a couple flatscreen TV's to watch all the NFL draft hype. Perhaps if I am ever to go back to Dan's, I'll pick up a Gut Pak from Vitek's or even something from Rudy's and just bring it over so I can watch their awesome TV. Until next time!

Rudy's Country Store & BBQ

4/19/10 Austin, TX. Rudy's, the gold standard for Austin BBQ. Always very good brisket that doesn't disappoint. I've reviewed Rudy's before. You know it's good. You know the sweet tea's good, the banana pudding's good, the beans are thick, but good, but what you don't know is how one individual described the sausage (truly Rudy's one real failure).

The scenario: Six of us are at a table, some of us buy sausage out of habit (like myself). We start to chow down and someone says "I don't know why I got sausage, tastes like SPAM"! Hahahaha! So true! Bottom line, Rudy's is great but the fkn sausage tastes like SPAM.

Cele Store

4/9/10 Cele, TX. The best BBQ on this blog to date belongs to Cele's (say "seals"). Near Pflugerville, near the middle of nowhere this unique establishment has earned the official Seal of Awesomeness for all around best BBQ. What a way to spend this blog's 25th post with such great news! I'll stop fkn around. The ribs were fantastic. I got a couple of the heels in the bag and they were meaty, tender, and not completely salt infused. A+. The brisket initially looked dry to me, but was just lean. Once I tasted it, wow, had to pull the vehicle over to take it all in. Cele's doesn't use a rub, all the flavor is in the meat and the smoke. After taking a bite, you can taste the smoke lingering for awhile and it kinda numbs you up a bit. Best lean brisked ever! Next time I'll try and ask for extra moist and see what happens. Regardless, A+. The sausage man, whoa, they shoot, they score. Not spicy at all, not too greasy, PERFECT consistency in that it's not packed loose enough to fall apart but not too tight where it's like a brick of Velveeta. Very tasty, maybe similar to House Park in Austin, but without the tough casings. A+. That covers all the meat, bottom line is that you can't go wrong whatever you order. You can always do what I did when ordering. Just say "I'd like BBQ for 2 people", and they'll hook you up. Oh yes, did I mention you have to order by noon the day before you go there? Yeah, a little quirky but so what. They're also only selling BBQ on Friday nights, so plan accordingly.

I'll leave the ambiance more or less a mystery for now, just go there. It's great. I'll give you 2 trailers. #1 all Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies had scenes shot at Cele's and #2 look for the can of Creamed Possum while your there. Cheers!

One more thing, the BBQ sauce. It was that strange, fruity, orange kind that is similar to Mueller's in Taylor, but better. Not as vinegary, but just as mild. I think it's brilliant with this kind of bbq to offer a sauce that is mild mild mild. You probably won't want it with every bite, but it adds a nice subtle sweetness to the meat every so often. Go directly to Cele's, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Showing my age, I know. Does anyone even know what Monopoly is anymore, much less play it?? Double Cheers!

Iron Works BBQ

3/29/10 Austin, TX. Iron Works is a downtown Austin institution, and for good reason. The building has been around forever, and they've been serving BBQ since 1978. I ordered a 2 meat plate and got charged a whopping $18.19 for pork ribs and brisket. The ribs were fantastic, just the right tenderness and flavor. The BBQ sauce they have on each table is a very good compliment to all the meats. I sampled some of the sausage and it was fantastic as well. Loosely packed and not too greasy, this sausage gets an A. The brisket was disappointing, not bad, but definitely underwhelming. Rudy's beats it, so that should tell you something.

They don't serve sweet tea, and several of us in the group experienced rude employees, but this place makes up for it in other areas. Here's what you do at Iron Works: Get the ribs and/or sausage plate, enjoy the potato salad and beans that come with it (yeah, sides were a-ok), don't make eye contact, make sure you get some pecan pie if you have room and sit outside if it's a nice day. You can see turtles the size of an office chair in the creek outside! Maybe I'll smuggle sweet tea in a flask next time. Iron Works, you're getting a grade with a minus (-), but at least it's an A-.

Rudy's Country Store and Bar-B-Que

3/25/10 Waco, TX. Rudy's is very good. The brisket comes out of the smoker a deep black color. Rudy's puts alot of peppery spice on their brisket and it works great. Almost an acquired taste, the heavy dose of pepper sounds like a big risk, but Rudy's makes it work. Solid A. Their sausage is average at absolute best, but at least they have a jalapino link that they call a "hottie".

Rudy's is different from other BBQ places in that they have a convenience store and gas station. Luckily, it doesn't detract from kick ass que. So, go to Rudy's and enjoy. I'm going to leave it at that because Food Wars is on the Travel Channel right now and they're doing Smitty's vs. Kreutz Market in Lockhart! Perhaps I'll do my own test very soon. In the spirit of full disclosure, I've already done it years ago and Smitty's is still the best BBQ I've ever experienced. Maybe I was turned off by Kreutz initially because when I asked for BBQ sauce, I was told I didn't need it. Now I know you're not supposed to need it, but I like to have some on hand to keep things interesting. Screw them for telling me what I need or don't need. I get that enough anyway. I don't know if it's arrogance or if it's part of their policy to have a-hole employees, but screw them. My apologies to Rudy's for the off topic rant, but something tells me I'll be back to Rudy's before long! Until next time...

Cousin's Bar-B-Q

3/19/10 Ft. Worth, TX. Cousin's reminds me of Pok-e-Jo's. It's cafateria style, chain, clean, festive ambiance with decent bbq and excellent sides. Ordered a 2 meat plate with pork ribs and German style sausage and sweet tea for $13.98. The ribs were ok, a little tough, but did the job more or less. They were meaty, so three of them was a good amount for a split plate. I'm not sure what German sausage is supposed to taste like, but if the Germans were going for unremarkable, grocery store, Ekrich type sausage then they nailed it. I'd say they couqured sausage about as effective as they couqured Europe back in the 40's.

The sides were outstanding. I got some broccoli/rice/cheese souffle thing and despite how it sounds, was awesome. Also got some shell macaroni salad and wow! What a rare treat! Much like Pok-e-Jo's, Cousin's knows the rules. The have good sweet tea, and a big platter of banana pudding for you. I didn't sample it, but perhaps I will next time. Overall I gave Cousin's a B. Sides A+, ribs B-, sausage C- (VERY borderline D grade). I must note that they do have hot links in addition to the German sausage so I feel obligated to sample that in the future in addition to the brisket. Some folks will say Cousin's rules North Texas BBQ. I'd say those folks have never been to Hard 8 BBQ in Coppell.

Green Mesquite BBQ

3/18/10 Austin, TX. Hello and welcome to the first day of SXSW music, get ready for a crowded lunch at Green Mesquite BBQ and More! Wait, where is everyone? I'll tell you where. Threadgill's. After wrestling through the crowd pouring into Threadgill's I made my way to Green Mesquite for some pre-rock n' roll brisket. I won't say much about the brisket other than... The sausage was awesome! Best sausage in town so far. If House Park had theirs just a smidge less greasy and used softer casings they might give Green Mesquite a run. However, as Jim Morrison once said, I am the Sausage King, I can do anything. Everything except brisket that is, at Green Mesquite. Hell, I'm still chewing on it. They have good marketing and it's an Austin institution more or less, so it's cool. The potato salad checks out (good and bland), but the beans are unique. Quite good, a little spicy, and a firm texture. Chili powder maybe? Paprika? Whatever it is, it's definitely worth sampling. The bbq sauce was about standard. Not much to mention there. Great outdoor seating for a sunny 68 degrees in the Spring!

If plans take you to the area, all you have to remember is 2 things: 1) The sausage is yummy and 2) Billy's BBQ is only a couple doors down! Cheers!

Cartwright's Famous Bar-B-Q

3/15/10 Austin, TX, Southpartk Meadows location. Cartwright's is consistantly solid. It's a significant step up from Bill Miller, but obviously wouldn't cut it in Lockhart. The convenient location is great and the bbq doesn't disappoint, so let's get started.

Both brisket and sausage were sampled this go-around and I have to say my hat is off to the sausage. Was pleasantly surprised that the sausage was this good. Just the right not-packed-too-tight consistancy and not too greasy either, this sausage exceeded expectations. Would be through the roof if they made a jalapino version. Spicy bbq sauce help with a bit of kick (sort of). The brisket was good. The extra moist is extra EXTRA fatty. Will likely try the lean stuff next time. The bbq sauce is about average, but they do give you a choice of regular or spicy. There's not much difference between the two though. The pecan pie for $1.25 was good, but as I've said before, who has bad pie? Insert whatever punchline you like there. Until next time, Cheers!

Vitek's BBQ

3/13/10 Waco, TX. Pronounced Vee-Tek, this place has what they call the "Gut Pak". It's similar to the Texas Trash at Up in Smoke in that it's a version of Frito Pie. This one has both brisket and sausage, mixed with baked beans, Fritos, pickles, onions, and jalapinos. It's truly awesome!

The sausage is hand-made by the former owner who is 72. His daughter runs the place now. It's difficult to taste the subtlties in the Gut Pak, simply because you have so many ingredients thrown into a bowl. However, EVERYTHING tasted awesome in this thing and I highly recommend it. Please note that I ordered the small Gut Pak. The big one is over 1 pound and I wasn't about to tangle with it that day... But we shall meet again!

***At this time I'd like to announce BATTLE OF THE BBQ FRITO PIES 2010. In this corner we have TEXAS TRASH from Up in Smoke. And in this corner we have the challenger, GUT PAK from Vitek's. Which one will emerge victorious?? The Texas Trash is available with cheese and sour cream, which got the nod last time. Not so in the future, as I think the sour cream masks alot of the other tastes you are supposed to experience. Up in Smoke is open until 9, Vitek's closes at 6 (boooo). Gut Pack comes in 2 sizes, Texas Trash only 1 size. Tx Trash comes with optional spicy beans, Gut Pack comes with jalapinos. Gut Pack has homemade sausage included, Texas Trash just brisket (might be customized though). I'll say that Vitek's is holding the lead as of right now, but this battle has just begun... My apologies for not exploring the brisket on its own merits, but that will be a task for a future visit. I DID sample the banana pudding and no, do not buy the banana pudding at Vitek's. Kudos to them for having it, but the soul is located in the Gut (Pak)! GAME ON!

Pok-e-Jo's Smokehouse, Inc.

3/10/10 Austin, TX Hwy 71 and Lamar. Like Rudy's, Pok-e-Jo's sets the standard for good everyday bbq. They have sweet tea, they have banana pudding, they give you all the pickles and onions you want. It's as if they had the BBQ restaraunt manual and got a B+ in every chapter. The fact that Pok-e-Jo's really has no achilles heel sets it apart from other establishments and it's because of this that I'm giving it a grade of B++. Everything down to the bbq sauce is pretty good. The green bean cassarole is pretty good and so is the jalapino corn cassarole. The ambiance is pretty good, the parking is pretty good, and yes, the brisket is pretty darn good. The ribs I don't know about, so I guess I'll be headed back to try them. Excuses to go get more BBQ are a dime a dozen and I got truckloads of dimes...

Hard 8 BBQ

3/06/2010 Coppel, TX. It's almost a good thing when you have to wait in line at Hard 8 BBQ because there is so much to choose from and you can take your time to sort out the game plan. I ended up sampling the $8.99 sirloin skewer. Strange choice with all the delicious brisket, sausage, etc. but the sirloin held it's own amongst its traditional compadres. Just enough pink in the middle with just the right amount of pepper/spices on the outside makes for good eats. Each sirloin tip is bordered with a slice of bell pepper and onion, about 6 total on one skewer. It's also available as a chicken skewer. The sirloin is also good with Hard 8's dark, sugary bbq sauce. Dump a bunch of sugar in a bowl of A1 and you'll get the idea. Come to think of it, sugar seems to be a staple in alot of Hard 8 sides. The potato salad was good and sweet. The coleslaw was very good and... well very sweet. And of course I can't write about Hard 8 without mentioning the banana pudding. So unpretentious looking, yet so fancy, it's the gold standard of banana puddings.

My kids will attest to how delicious the white bread and pickles are, but my son doesn't trust one of the stuffed bears on the wall. He's fairly sure that bear is going to roar at some point. Who am I to argue? Even if the bear were alive, it's worth the risk to dine at Hard 8 BBQ. I see a long relationship developing here... Solid A.

Up In Smoke BBQ

3/4/10 Abbott, TX. Up In Smoke is becoming the official I-35 travel stop for a BBQ fix. In this case, I had plans to mainline some Vitek's BBQ in Waco, but they close at 6 pm. Bummer. Which way to go on this one? I could stay bitter, and then never go there in some pointless unnoticed protest... but what if it's that good? They'll get their chance, and they better bring their A game for closing so early, but this post isn't about them.

Turkey! Got the turkey plate this time to change things up a bit. It's true to Up In Smoke standards in that it's minimally messed with (Think opposite of Rudy's). The turkey is quite tender and juicy, and it's very good with their spicy BBQ sauce. The cole slaw is pretty good, and the jalapino beans are rock solid as well. They DO have sweet tea so that's a big plus, but it's average at best. It's always a treat to get that slice of texas toast with the meal at Up In Smoke as well. The next visit will definitely involve Texas Trash instead of turkey, but the turkey is not bad if you're on a health kick for a day.

Bill Miller BBQ, I-35 and Ben White

3/1/10 Austin, TX. Q: How do you make a lunch at Bill Miller's Tolerable? A: Order either the $3.49 special or the #7 double chopped beef sandwich w/ french fries and sweet tea combo and escape only 5 bucks lighter than when you came in. It's pretty simple. At the very least, if you're going to put shit in your mouth, at least you aren't paying much for it.

The chopped beef is average, but you can throw some pico de gallo, pickles, and onions in there and it becomes quite acceptible. The real tragedy is seeing your buddies order $10 worth of old shoe leather and hot dogs. I know brisket is king at these BBQ joints, but at Bill Miller's avoid it like a Georgetown pilot angry that he's got to pay taxes. Plus, you get the added bonus of appreciating real BBQ on your next excursion. C- food, but an A for value if done right.

Cartwright's Famous Bar-B-Q

2/25/10 South Austin, TX. Dave Chappelle was right. BBQ Ribs will put you to sleep faster than any turkey or triptophane or whatever it is white people think puts them to sleep. I took down a pound of ribs from Cartwrights and BAM, no recollection of the following hour. the next thing I knew, I heard the phone ringing and America Idol was on TV. It could have been them aliens from outer space messing with the space-time continuum again, but it was probably the ribs.

The ribs were good. Very tender and extremely salty, B+. Must say I am plesantly surprised with Cartwright's... Or maybe I should just order ribs more often...

Salt Lick BBQ (Airport)

2/18/10 Austin-Bergstrom International Airport. Ever land a date with the hot girl and for whatever reason, you end up disappointed because she's really not that hot and you're probably in a dry spell and throw some beer goggles in, etc. Well, set your expectations low today kids, 'cause the Suck Lick BBQ at the Austin airport has the potential to disappoint travelers on an international level. First of all, it's way overpriced, but about average for an airport I suppose. They had no beans or slaw at 6:00 pm, so they gave me a bag of Schlotzky's brand chips with my pulled pork sandwich. It was ok, but a bit dry. The sandwich bread was as big as a basketball. Not really, but come on, if I want a loaf of bread for a meal I'll go to Subway. The pickle at least, met expectations and the Salt Lick BBQ sauce is one of the best if you like it sweet.

To my recollection, the Salt Lick in Driftwood is awesome. Heck, I even spent my birthday at the Salt Lick on Hwy 360 before they shut it down. This airport location just plain sucks. Much of it is probably circumstancial because it's an airport, but it is what it is and I've done my best to only consider aspects directly related to the food. C-. Save your money and hit Amy's Ice Cream next door if you need a bite before a flight.

Up In Smoke BBQ

2/12/10 Abbott, TX. A milestone in Blog-Bee-Que history, the first-second review! The last time I headed out to this place, I swore I'd try their "Texas Trash", which is basically their version of Frito Pie and WOW! You truly haven't lived until you experience this thing.

Let me first state that I've tagged last Friday as a rehersal for Doomsday. If a meteor is about to crash into the planet, you might want to have a plan in mind. Mine involves a minimum of 2 BBQ meals topped off with some cold Samual Adams coupled with a shameless disregard to the havoc it will surely unleash upon your body. Let's fast forward a bit and go straight to "it was all worth it".

TEXAS TRASH! They start by busting open a bag of Frito's and layering the bottom of the square paper bowl with them. Then comes two scoops of beans (go with spicy since it's a doomsday rehersal afterall). Next, chopped brisket is added, followed by your choice of mild or spicy BBQ sauce (again, no tomorrow, go spicy). Now comes the part where you just nod your head. She's gonna ask you if you want cheese and sour cream. You say yes. Mix that sucker up and you've got yourself a meal that's only one banana pudding away from daring a real doomsday event to occur. Take the risk, grasshopper. I don't really remember the banana pudding after taking out the Trash, but I do recall thinking it was about average. It's scooped out of a big serving bowl, which is a nice switch from the individual cups that are typical at BBQ joints. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that the texas toast is included with every meal... just so you don't go away hungry...

Vic's BBQ

2/12/10 Austin, TX. Vic's at noon is always crowded. That's a good sign. Part of the popularity is no doubt related to their pork steak special. It's the real deal. Sometimes the steak is so big they have to cut it just to serve it to you. It's quite possible that they don't serve it every day, but a call ahead should answer the question for you before heading out. If their brisket is as good as the pork (still a mystery because everyone gets the pork), then who cares what day you go. The sausage is from Elgin and is, as expected very, very good. No frills, just honest to goodness tasty sausage. Next time, I will sample the brisket, but it will be difficult to say no to the pork steak. Vic's get's an A all around. They do have pies for dessert with crusts in the shape of Texas on top, but they're shrink wrapped in plastic so I gave them a miss. They also have decent sweet tea that comes with the $7.95 special. Sides (beans and tato salad) are unremarkable, but if it's sides you want go to Pok-E-Jo's instead. Vic's is pork steak perfection! Just be sure you get their early enough because sometimes they sell out before noon!

Hard Eight BBQ

1/29/10 Coppel, TX Man this place is awesome. Reminds me of Cooper's in Llano, but on a heavy dose of steroids. You walk up to the pits and they open it up and you see an unreal selection of food that's nice and smokey. I loaded up with samples of brisket, jalapino sausage, corn in its husk, potatoes, and skewered chicken with a jalapino slice all encased in bacon. Fortunately, I had the family help chow down, and I haven't even gotten to the side dishes yet. The brisket was a solid A. Very consistant with a nice moist texture with plenty of flavor. The jalapino chicken poppers were good, but just a smidge dry. The jap sausage was nice and juicy, but still doesn't compare to the establishments in Lockhart. Having said that, it's still a solid B+ sausage. Sides were good, cornbread salad was a nice shift from the norm, the grilled corn delivered as promised but the husks I could do without. The beans were fantastic. They've got whole jalapinos floating in the bean broth, so grab a few if you like! Oh, and the pickles. Normally I wouldn't mention the pickles, but my toddler daughter had 3 styrofoam cupfulls. Yes, unfortunately you read that right.

I could go on and on about this place. I could say that a great effort was put into th ambiance, complete with cowbell on a roap that the kiddos love to ring. I could say that it is with sincere grattitude to the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex that I thank Hard Eight for setting up shop where they did. But if I am to leave you, faithfull BBQ lover, with one parting thought to stash away in your mesquite soaked brain it would be this. Do not leave without trying the banana pudding. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Start at the bottom. Take that spoon and go straight down. Thats where you'll find the whole Nilla Wafers. Crush them you your heart's content. Then move up. You'll snag a delicious pudding that has the consistancy of silky mousse rather than pudding. Before you disengage your spoon from the styrofoam cup, you'll hit yet another layer of Nilla wafers, but this time they are pre crushed into a heavy dusting over the top. Doesn't really matter how much food you've eaten already, and at this place, it will be A LOT. Just don't think about leaving before dessert and you'll give Hard Eight a hard 8 stars********.

Up In Smoke BBQ

1/21/10 Abbott, TX. Just south of Hillsboro lies Up In Smoke, a good BBQ joint that is in the perfect spot for quality BBQ during a road trip on Interstate 35. The brisket is good, but not very interesting. If you like brisket that is minimally messed with, you'll dig it. However, their sauce is pretty good and adds enough flavor to make it tasty. The beans are also good, again just sort of out-of-a-can bland. The green beans, broken record, were ok but I wouldn't get them again. They give you a slice of Texas toast with the meal instead of white bread which is fantastic. I am curious about the "Texas Trash" on the menu, which appears to be their version of Frito Pie. Up in Smoke is the best place I have found for BBQ between Ft. Worth and Temple/Belton so far, and it shouldn't be long before I head back there to try their Texas Trash (and some banana pudding, it looked awesome). They did have tea, but am uncertain if it was sweet or unsweet. Until next time, B+

Bill Miller BBQ, I-35 and Ben White

1/15/10 OK, we all knew this day would come so let's just get it over with, shall we? If you ever get the craving to pay $9 for ass on a plate, welcome to Bill Miller's. The brisket isn't eaten, it's dealt with. The sweet tea is brown colored water. The sides are actually ok and the pecan pie is not bad because you have to TRY to fk up pie. They do give you all the free butter you want so by all means, go to town on their cold dinner rolls! The decor leaves one almost perplexed enough to ignore the food, just look at the pic. She's HOT!!!

It's not all doom and gloom for Bill Miller's, but for the Sake of Pete just go with the special. I passed up a brisket sandwich and fries plus drink for under $4. Four bucks is exactly what you should be paying at Bill Miller's and not a cent more. In that regard, they get an A for value. However for my "regualr plate" and pie, $9 is as far away from a good deal as you can get. F+

The Pit Barbeque

1/5/10 Austin, TX. The Pit Barbeque has great chopped beef sandwhiches, so I hear. Of course my curiosity gets me every time and I ended up with the brisket and sausage plate. Good food, but the brisket was dry and the sausage was unremarkable. I suppose it's like going to Rome to eat their sushi, you just don't do it. Next time, I faithfully pledge to order the 3 chopped beef sandwiches for $5.25 instead of the $8 plate of average whatnot. Ok, now that we're done with that, the ribs looked fuckin' great. Might have to sample them as well as the chopped beef next time. The potato salad was above average, had a distincitve mustard taste while retaining a white mayonase color... Chamelion potatoes?? The beans were, well, beans. BBQ sauce was good. The color, consistancy, and taste reminded me of the sauce from the Salt Lick. Hmmmmm. Who's been sleeping in MY bed?

I don't even remember the banana pudding so it must have bee good. They definitely dress it up right with a mixture of whole and crushed Nilla wafers. Bottom line here, go with the deal that they're known for and stick to the plan. Happy New Years! And a message to the couple of BBQ reviewers in the next booth over, YES THE BRISKET IS DRY, I DISCOVERED THAT BEFORE YOU AND YOUR NECK NAPKIN DID, SO THERE! :)

Southerner alert: This establisment does not offer sweet tea...